Vacationing with the Star Wars
by VA-Parky
Summary: In an effort to aid Plauu's failing tourism industry, Mace invites our four reality heroes on an excursion that's supposed to be restful and relaxing. Needless to say, it ends up being neither.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Vacationing with the Star Wars  
**Author:** VA-Parky  
**Genre:** Humor, mini-sequel to _"Skating with the Star Wars"_  
**Characters**: Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, Siri Tachi, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu  
**Disclaimer:** I still have no affiliation with _Star Wars._ Drat!  
**Summary:** Our fabulous foursome (plus one), heads to Plauu for what's supposed to be a refreshing vacation. Unbeknownst to them (at least at first), Mace has agreed to film the entire debacle, hoping the publicity will aid the planet's tourism industry which has crumbled in the wake of Jarrick's treachery. Needless to say, the typical chaos ensues.  
**Author's Note**: We're back, ya'll! I have to warn you, this won't be updated as frequently as the trilogy. My free time is scarce these days – my husband and I are in the process of moving and recently found out that we're expecting our first baby! But if you hang in there, I'll do my best to try to deliver some laughs along the way.

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****ONE MONTH AFTER THE WEDDING OF OBI-WAN KENOBI AND SIRI TACHI**

When he looked back at that fateful day, Anakin would realize that he should have sensed Windu was up to something. After all, he was pretty sure the Jedi Master had never taken a vacation in his life. In fact, Anakin could well remember a speech Mace had once given that made the outrageous claim that simply being a Jedi was reward enough.

So when Windu had graciously offered a vacation in the tropics, his inner alarm really should have been sounding.

It had all started when he had been summoned unexpectedly from a training salle in the middle of the afternoon. Still soaked with sweat, he had made his way to the Council chambers, pleasantly surprised to find his wife waiting for him...

**JEDI TEMPLE, FOUR DAYS EARLIER**

Padmé was radiant, her hands folded over a gown that proudly emphasized her bulging belly. Her hair was pulled back and secured with a myriad of clasps and pins, although a few stray pieces had worked their way free and curled softly around her face.

A smile on his lips, he strode forward, intending to pull her into a warm embrace. Unfortunately, her reaction was not what he had hoped.

She burst into tears.

"Love, what's wrong?" he prodded. Suddenly, a spark of alarm flew through him, sending his heart into his throat. She'd gone to the med center earlier that day - had something happened? Unable to bring himself to voice the thought, he stared at her worriedly.

She shook her head. "The babies are fine," she sniffled, correctly guessing his fear. "The medic said the pregnancy is right on schedule."

He closed his eyes in relief, but noticed that her shoulders were still shaking with silent sobs. "Then what is it? Please... Tell me so I can help you."

"It's Dormé." Her voice was muffled against his tunic and he had to strain to hear. "She said... She said that I was... _waddling."_ The last word came out as a wail.

Anakin sighed inwardly. _Pregnancy hormones,_ he deduced. They came and went, but when they were here, he knew to tread carefully. _Very_ carefully.

"I'm sure she was only teasing," he finally offered. "You know she doesn't really think you... waddle."

"Who's waddling?" a familiar voice asked.

Anakin turned, already beaming. Sure enough, his former Master was standing in the doorway, a battered rucksack slung casually over his shoulder.

"Master!" he exclaimed happily. "You're back!"

"Fresh off the transport," he confirmed. "The border dispute was resolved with minimal bloodshed. Quite a satisfying victory for the Republic if I do say so myself."

"And you know he does," another voice piped up sarcastically.

"Siri!" Padmé cried happily. Anakin stumbled as she pushed past him to get to her friend. The two women moved off to the side where they began chatting animatedly. Siri, however, continued to direct a poisonous glare in the direction of her new husband. Obi-Wan appeared to be keenly aware of her ire for he kept his distance as he made his way towards his former padawan.

"I'm afraid she's not too happy with me at the moment," he confessed quietly.

"What did you do this time?" Anakin retorted knowingly.

"Why do you always assume I'm at fault?" the elder Jedi grumbled, letting his bag fall to the floor with a thump.

"Because you usually are!"

Having no reply to that, Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.

"You'd better tell me," Anakin warned. "If you don't, I'll just hear it from Padmé later - only I'll get Siri's version, which is probably more accurate now that I think about it-"

"All right," he interrupted, annoyed. "If you must know the source of our disagreement... It seems my wife thinks that I'm holding her back as a Jedi."

"And are you?"

"Of course not!" he snapped. Putting a hand to his forehead, he let out a groan. "Okay, so maybe a little. But is there anything wrong with wanting me to make sure she's safe?"

"Not when that strategy involves putting me at the rear of the battle lines!" Siri suddenly yelled from the other side of the room.

"Force, she has ears like a sand-fox," Obi-Wan muttered. Lowering his voice, he turned back to Anakin. "Surely you can understand where I'm coming from? I mean, you entered not one, not two, but _three_ competitions to make sure Padmé was safe."

The younger man shrugged. "Yes, but Siri is extremely well trained."

As soon as the words left his lips, Anakin could feel Padmé's indignation streaking through their bond. Cautiously, he risked a glance over his shoulder... and found his wife glaring at him, small hands planted firmly on her hips.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you saying my training was substandard?"

"Of course not," he attempted to soothe. "But surely you must admit your training isn't as intensive as a Jedi's."

"I can shoot a blaster better than you," she pointed out.

Hearing this, Siri chuckled gleefully. "Really?"

"It's true," Padmé relayed. "A few months ago, he dragged me to target practice and I beat him."

Anakin's cheeks began to burn. "I wasn't feeling well that day," he argued. "Besides, you know that my blaster wasn't calibrated correctly."

"Seemed to work fine when I used it," she shrugged. Pointedly turning her back on him, she resumed her conversation with Siri like nothing had transpired.

Swearing inwardly, he faced his former Master once again. "She's exaggerating," he insisted automatically. "I really wasn't feeling well that day. I was dizzy and everything - you can ask the healers!"

"Whatever you say," Obi-Wan teased.

He was about to respond with a rather rude gesture when Master Windu walked into the room. Oblivious to the charged emotions, the Korun Jedi strode to the center of the room and waited for the small group to surround him. Much to his aggravation, it took several moments before they eventually wandered over, forming a lopsided semi-circle around him.

"Master Kenobi," he greeted. "Knight Tachi... it's good to see you have returned unharmed."

"Thank you," they replied tightly.

Mace raised his eyebrows, but wisely moved on. Directing his gaze to Padmé, he dropped into a respectful bow. "Senator Amidala, I see you received my summons. Thank you for coming."

"I got here as quickly as I could," she replied. "The Senate is in recess until tomorrow morning so my afternoon was free."

"I'm glad to hear it." Nodding absently to Anakin, he tartly acknowledged, "Skywalker."

The young Jedi had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Despite their improved relationship, it seemed the stern Jedi Master still harbored a bit of a grudge from being upstaged during the whole Jarrick debacle. Well, that and the whole secret-marriage thing.

Anakin pasted on a wide grin and responded with a cheerful, "Good afternoon, Master Windu."

Mace ignored him. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here today. I would like to put your minds at ease - you're about to receive some very good news."

"That's a relief," Obi-Wan sighed. "I was afraid you were going to tell me I was about to be put into something sparkly."

"No," Mace snapped. "We have put all of that behind us. Haven't we, _Skywalker?"_

Anakin had the grace to blush, remembering his garish attire during the Tachi-Kenobi wedding. "I told you, Master, I was merely fulfilling my end of a bet. Honestly, I generally do not prefer to wear skating costumes."

Mace sniffed derisively, but did change the subject back to the task at hand. "As you all know, it has been well over six months since the conclusion to your last undercover assignment. In that time, you have all worked tirelessly to oversee the transition of power from Palpatine's minions to the newly reformed Republic."

"It's been an honor, Master," Siri piped up. "A lot of hard work, yes, but an honor nonetheless."

"And the Council is grateful," he assured them. "So much so, that we've decided to send the four of you on a much-deserved vacation."

"A vacation?" Anakin repeated dubiously. "Are you serious?"

"Am I ever not serious, Skywalker?" he snarled.

"No," Anakin admitted. Smiling broadly, he looped an arm around his wife's waist and was startled to find her shaking her head.

"I don't mean to dampen anyone's spirits," she began. "But I am expected to return to the Senate tomorrow. Several motions are going to be put forth and my vote is needed."

"We have already seen to that," Mace replied. "Your handmaiden, Dormé, will take your place."

"Well, I appreciate that, but-"

"If necessary, we can present you with orders from Chancellor Organa himself." Mace cleared his throat and brushed an imaginary piece of lint from the sleeve of his cloak. "He said you have been working yourself too hard and for your own health, he demands you take a break."

Anakin remained frozen in place, certain that Padmé would not take such news well. To his surprise, however, she acquiesced. "I suppose it would give me a chance to finish my knitting."

Off to the side, Obi-Wan was studying her curiously. _"Knitting?"_ he mouthed.

Anakin shook his head, silently begging him not to ask. Unfortunately, his former Master did not heed the warning.

"I didn't know you knew how to knit," he enthused. "That's wonderful! Are you making something for the twins?"

As Anakin had feared, his wife's eyes filled with tears. "I'm trying to," she replied, miserable. "But I'm not very good at it. After six months, I only have half of one bootie complete and even that is misshapen and ugly. I'm going to be a horrible mother!"

Ignoring Obi-Wan's sputtered encouragement, she turned and waddled from the room as quickly as she could.

"Good job, Kenobi," Siri spat before hurrying after the weeping Senator.

Bewildered, the two men could only nod when Mace turned to them and barked, "The shuttles will depart tomorrow morning at 0800 hours. More information about our destination will follow en route. Do not be late."

As Mace stalked from the room, Anakin exhaled a deep breath. "I have a bad feeling about this."

**ABOARD THE "LIRI AND KAIDE" - PRESENT TIME**

Frowning as the memory of the pervious week faded from his mind, Anakin punched in the landing sequence, wondering why the string of numbers seemed vaguely familiar. The niggling thought was quickly forgotten, however, when he glanced over to find Padmé smiling at him, her infamous knitting project sprawled atop her burgeoning tummy.

"Do you know where we're going?" she wondered.

"I'm not sure," he replied, sliding into the seat next to her. "Wherever it is, Master Windu said it would be warm and tropical."

"You know what that means, don't you?" Padmé murmured slyly. "That means there's going to be sand - all kinds of it."

Anakin threw an arm over his eyes, pretending to be horrified by the thought. His wife giggled, the sound filling the cabin with a soothing melody. A part of him wished he could remain in that moment forever, listening to her happiness. He was seriously contemplating doing just that when his ears caught a dull roar that seemed to be growing even louder.

"What the-?" he grumbled, sitting up.

"I hear it too," Padmé noted. Her knitting forgotten, she stood and made her way to the view port. "What is that?"

Anakin followed the line of her gaze, immediately zeroing in on the teeming mass below. The shapes were still far away, difficult to distinguish... but he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what they were.

"Open a communications channel," he growled. "I need to speak to the other ship."

Too confused to be offended by his gruff tone, Padmé did as requested. Within seconds, the hiss and crackle of an open line met their ears.

_"Y- Yes, Anakin, what... what is it?"_

The younger man knew then and there that the vacation was not off to a good start. Past experience told him that when Obi-Wan was flustered, things tended to go downhilll quickly. No, this was not good. Not good at all.

_"Anakin?"_ Obi-Wan prompted again.

"I was just wondering," he began. "If Master Windu was going to grace us with any further instructions."

_"I'm not sure. He's still in his quarters."_

"At this hour?" Anakin double checked his chrono before shrugging. "Well, you need to wake him up. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there appears to be some activity in our landing quadrant and I would like a heads up as to what we might be walking into."

_"Just one moment, please."_

Anakin rolled his eyes at Obi-Wan's formality and waited. A series of small scuffles followed as the other Jedi evidently made his way to the view port aboard the _Dake and Tarv._ If he hadn't been standing so quietly he might have missed the first muffled curse - though he wouldn't have missed the ones that followed... the ones being muttered by Siri.

He grinned.

Finally, Obi-Wan returned to the comm. _"I believe those are people down there, Anakin,"_ he groaned, confirming Anakin's suspicions. _"I shall awaken Master Windu immediately."_

_"There's no need; I'm right here."_

Anakin would have recognized that annoyed tone anywhere. "Good afternoon, Master Windu. It seems we have some company waiting for us. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

_"Of course I do,"_ Windu snapped. _"That's our welcome committee."_


	2. Chapter 2

**ALL** - Thank you for the wonderful messages - both about the story and my good news. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post the next chapter. The move has eaten up what little free time I had left and just when things were starting to settle down, we found out my dad has to have heart surgery. They expect him to be okay, so we are extraordinarily grateful for that, but I'll have to ask for your patience while we get him back on his feet.

I want you to know how much I appreciate each and every review you all have left me. I'm so sorry for the lack of individual replies, but I wanted to make sure I posted the next chapter without further delay. Hope you are all having a GREAT summer!

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"A welcome committee?" Anakin repeated, dumbstruck. 

_"Yes, Anakin. You know, where representatives and dignitaries meet the arriving shuttle and welcome their guests to the planet...? Do you have a problem with that?"_ Mace countered.

The younger main balled his hands into fists, grateful that the comms didn't have holographic capabilities. "Not exactly, Master. I guess I was just under the impression that this was going to be a private retreat."

In the background, he could hear Siri piping up with her agreement - something that evidently didn't sit well with Obi-Wan. _"Ouch!"_ he heard her cry. "_Sheesh, Kenobi... I was just adding to the conversation. Even you thought this was going to be a low key affairs - remember all the things you told me you wanted to do on this trip - you know, since this is supposed to be our honeymoon."_

"Ew," Anakin added, wrinkling his nose.

_"Not like that, Anakin!"_ Obi-wan hastily added. _"Good grief. Get your head out of the gutter."_

Anakin opened his mouth to deliver a teasing retort but was halted by an elbow in his side. "Behave," Padmé whispered. "You're going to embarrass him."

"That's the whole idea," he murmured back.

"Well, if you won't spare him, at least think of Siri."

Anakin dug the toe of his boot into the floor, knowing she had him there. Although his friendship with the female Jedi was still relatively new, he respected her and enjoyed her biting sense of humor. Despite their age difference, he felt like a protective older brother, a trait Siri actually tolerated most of the time, much to everyone's surprise.

"Fine," he huffed.

Clicking the comm back on, he hastily moved the conversation along. "So what are they expecting of us?"

_"Nothing too extraordinary,"_ Mace insisted. _"They are just here to see their favorite reality contestants."_

Anakin jerked when Padmé lunged forward, grasping the comm controls so tightly her knuckles went white. "Master Windu," she interrupted. "They do understand that those were fake personas, don't they?"

_"Not entirely,"_ he hedged. _"You see, the final episode never aired here."_

"And why is that?" Padmé prompted sternly.

_"The queen's cousin passed away that day. The news coverage was quite extensive, surpassing everything else for weeks."_ Mace cleared his throat. _"When the royal family finally heard of Jarrick's treachery, they decided it was in their citizens' best interest to leave such a dark piece of their history behind. They have enough on their plate as they recover from the tyranny of the Divided Systems' occupation."_

"But surely someone has heard-" the Senator interjected.

_"I'm afraid not. And, considering that all Republic transmissions are still being carefully screened, I suspect it may be a long time before the truth surfaces."_

In the background, Anakin could hear Siri whispering angrily to Obi-Wan. Yes, it was a good thing that they had decided to take two shuttles. It upped Master Windu's chances of surviving. Two against one was much better odds than four against one.

He was still chuckling at the thought when Obi-Wan spoke up. _"So what does this mean for us?"_ he asked.

_"Nothing too extraordinary,"_ Mace lied. His next statement came out in a rush: _"It-just-means-we're-going-to-assume-those-identities-for-the-duration-of-our-stay-here."_

"WHAT?" Siri cried.

Anakin turned to Padmé, noting the way her eyes were narrowed and her jaw clenched. Putting a hand on her arm, he squeezed lightly and was finally rewarded with a tight smile.

Satisfied that she wasn't going to try to launch herself through the comm unit to try to get to Mace, he sarcastically asked whether the Council had any knowledge of this slight omission - a question that promptly earned him one of the Jedi Master's trademark snarls.

_"Of course!"_ Mace snapped. _"It is part of our continuing effort to make amends for our treatment of those who have not been accepted into the Order. As you all know, the ways of the Jedi are changing drastically. This is just one of the steps that go along with that process."_

"Then why didn't we know about these plans? I'm a Master now; I should have been included in the discussion." Anakin heard the sullenness in his tone but didn't do anything to correct it.

A long pause followed before Mace managed a weak excuse: _"We did not wish to trouble you or Master Kenobi with such trivial matters."_

_"Because the Council knew we'd have reservations about these so-called trivial matters,"_ Obi-Wan amended knowingly.

_"Yes, there was some talk that you might not take too kindly to the assignment-"_

"Oh, so now we're on an assignment," Padmé growled.

_"But,"_ Mace raised his voice in an attempt to drown out the growing discontent. _"We also knew that you would want to do what was best for the Jedi. And, Plauu truly is a beautiful planet with many enjoyable amenities to offer. I highly doubt we'll be surrounded by outsiders for very long. Surely they have more important things to do."_

**MORE THAN SIX HOURS LATER - PRIVATE RESIDENCE OF THE ROYAL FAMILY**

Siri's backside had gone beyond the aching stage and was now into numbness.

Apparently, royalty didn't believe in cushions - a tradition she found especially ridiculous given that their chairs appeared to be made from a substance harder than duracrete.

Needless to say, the physical discomfort wasn't helping her mood. As she had feared, Mace's final comment had jinxed them to an evening full of boredom. Yes, seeing the thousands of screaming fans in the crowd as a lovely memory she would never forget. And yes, it was quite wonderful to see the large group of bald men in the front row wearing tunics that said, _"Don't worry, Tarv - we're aerodynamic too!"_

But the hours since had been dull as dishwater.

Thank the Force for Padmé though. The young woman had shifted into what Siri had secretly dubbed "Royal Mode," effortlessly keeping the conversation flowing and getting all their social obligations out of the way. Even now, she was artfully working the subject around to the transportation they would require to get to the resort where they would be staying - a place Siri hoped was far away from the "Majestic Bores" - the other nickname she had dreamed up during the past several hours.

"We'd be pleased if you would take our carriage," the King boomed. "I'll have you know that it's pulled by a bogurt, something you should be familiar with, eh, Dake and Tarv?"

Siri raised her eyebrows, noticing Obi-Wan's scrunched up nose. Whatever it was the King was talking about, her husband wasn't too thrilled with the idea.

Unable to stifle her curiosity, she leaned over and tapped him on the arm. "What's a bogurt?" she murmured.

"It's a hideous purple beast," he whispered back, his horror clear. "In _Racing Through the Stars,_ I had to ride one in a challenge. It was a horrible experience - the blasted thing fell asleep and didn't move for several agonizing minutes... Master Windu nearly pitched a fit... needless to say, it was not a very pleasant experience."

"Oh." Pressing her lips together to hold in her laughter, she sank back in her chair - a movement she instantly regretted when her spine rammed into the unforgiving surface.

While she tried to keep from groaning from the pain, Padmé was trying to diplomatically reject the offer.

"I appreciate your hospitality, but we're really quite tired," she noted, sighing wearily to emphasize her point. "Is there any way we could summon an air taxi? We certainly don't want you or the Queen to go to any trouble, Your Majesty, especially if our retreat is far from the palace."

"It wouldn't be any trouble at all, my dear. We'll send for one right away."

"Thank you," she replied brightly. "I know we are all anxious to see where we'll be staying for the next week. I'm sure it's quite beautiful."

**ONE HOUR LATER - SUITE SANDS RESORT**

"Will you people please stop jinxing us?" Siri grumbled, putting her hands on her hips as she surveyed the ramshackle entrance. "First we get stuck at Tedium Palace and now we're staying at a resort that looks like it hasn't seen a landscaper in twenty years! And also... Suite Sands? What kind of name is that?"

"Your behavior is not very Jedi-like," Mace stated, fixing her with a glare.

Feeling reckless, Siri tossed her head. "Don't you remember? I'm not a Jedi this week," she retorted. "I'm Kahla, reality star and _Skating with the Star Wars_ champion."

"Co-champion," Anakin was quick to correct.

Siri pressed her lips into a thin line, trying not to let her smile break free. Anakin had a way of talking her out of even the darkest moods and this day was proving to be no exception.

Taking advantage of the break in conversation, Padmé stepped forward. "Look, I know we're all tired and cranky. Let's just go inside and find our rooms. Who knows? Appearances can be deceiving. Perhaps the inside is as inviting as any five star hotel."

This time, Siri didn't even bother to make the point. Judging by the looks on everyone's faces when they passed through the revolving door, she didn't need to either.

Lacy cobwebs hung from the ceiling, dropping down to rest on the top of tropical plants that had been left to wither and die. The carpets were threadbare and worn, the edges tattered and frayed. A layer of dust covered the surface of the sagging furniture and blocked the light from the windows, making the area even more gloomy than it might have been otherwise.

"Creepy," Siri murmured.

"Welcome to the Suite Sands resort," a voice suddenly clamored. "How can I help you?"

Startled, Siri pressed a hand to her chest, annoyed that she hadn't sensed a presence other than her four companions. However, the reason for that soon became apparent - the speaker wasn't a person, but rather an old rusted droid, tucked into the front of a rickety cabinet behind the concierge counter. Not even he had escaped the ravages of time and neglect - one of his eye sockets was empty, giving him the look of a deranged Cyclops.

Thankfully, Mace recovered quickly. "We're here to check-in," he explained. "We're special guests of the Plauu Tourism Ministry."

"Ah yes," the droid intoned. "I was told to expect you." His joints alternately whirring and groaning, he retreated into the cabinet and emerged with three keycards. "We have set aside three of our best rooms for you. I'm pleased to say that..."

Siri frowned as the droid froze in place, a small tendril of smoke wafting from its control panel. "What happened?" she asked impatiently, trying to pry open his metallic fingers.

"He's fried his power circuitry," Anakin noted. "I'll send Artoo out in a bit to fix him up."

With a whoop of victory, Siri finally freed the keycards and held them in the air. "Got 'em!"

"What room are we in?" Padmé asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "I have to confess, as long as it has a nice comfy bed, I'll be happy."

"Me too," Anakin added.

"I believe that's called sharing too much information," Obi-Wan pointed out, his eyes twinkling.

While Anakin sputtered in disbelief, Siri grabbed her husband's arm, preventing the him from launching into one of his infamous lectures. "Why don't we try to find our rooms? I think we are all ready for a good night's sleep." She handed out the keys which had been labeled with their names.

"Section A, Room 101," Anakin relayed.

"Section C for us," Obi-Wan added.

Mace consulted his, squinting to try to see it better in the waning light. "And I'm in E."

"Well, I guess this is where we go our separate ways," Anakin sighed, pretending to look disappointed.

"I suppose so," Mace said. "Well then, I shall see you in the morning. Your droids are waiting in your room; they have information about tomorrow's filming schedule. Dress appropriately." With that, the Korun Master disappeared down the hallway that would lead him to his room.

Siri started to take a step towards Section C, but paused as the latter half of Windu's statement began to sink in. Pivoting on her heel, a part of her wondered if her shocked expression matched those of her friends and husband.

She swallowed. "Did he... Did he just say _filming?"_


End file.
